MIMI BALLS

The front of the box says, “Squeezable… Breast Ball with I love you sound.” The price beneath that, “2 for $1” belongs to a different toy.

Walking along Canal Street, in New York City, almost a couple years ago now, I saw these, and had to snap it. I mean, where do I begin the rant with this?

The Product Designer in me begs to know about the meeting that provoked this New Product Introduction (NPI). “Fellas, we need to come up with an impulse item that we can sell for a few bucks that uses our miniature sound device, our endless supply of elastomeric material and this extra pink dye we have left over from the huge Doc Johnson project.” Did some bright Marketing Manager, timidly raise his hand and say, “… well, everyone likes breasts. And everyone wants to be loved. We can make individual breast balls that say “I Love You” when you squeeze them.” Were there any women in that room I wonder? Did they stand and applaud? Did they all get bonus?

What if it were a woman or gay men run organization? Would they have a similar meeting only to propose a different organ? And when squeezed, what would it say? “Let me sleep?” or “Hey, that’s not a toy ya know.” or maybe in kind it would say, “I really like you.”

Did they think of the environment when they produced it? Is it biodegradable?… or just degradable. What do you do with those things? Give them as gifts? Maybe that’s it… it’s designed for the gag gift market. Because for sure, they didn’t go through a needs analysis process designed to solve one of earth’s great problems. Do you buy one at a time? or did they say, “People will always buy two at a time… it’s brilliant!”

I mean really, what boob thought of this? Maybe it was inspired by an engineer named Bob, whose first name got misspelled by someone’s iPhone auto correct and instead of being addressed as Bob… the text came out “Boob”… and that’s when he had his flash of genius. And here I am, wasting my precious brain and finger tapping power discussing it.

The world is filled with so much stuff we don’t need. I had lunch with my sister today and she suggested that remaining uncluttered is a great goal toward maintaining clear thought. That the temptation to attach one’s self to meaningless clutter is where people lose their clarity of thought. Wouldn’t it be great if we could choose OR reject, distinct thoughts, emotions and virtually all of life’s impulsive decisions, like strolling down a cluttered Canal Street, being constantly pitched and tempted by needless things, not inline with our goal to remain uncluttered. What if every detrimental thought and hurtful person on our path, was seen or heard like one of these boobs screaming “I love you”… and instead of acquiring yet another piece of unnecessary cerebral clutter… that we choose to ignore it, and metaphorically walk on by.

From now on… in my mind… unproductive thoughts will be left untouched as Mimi Balls.

4 thoughts on “MIMI BALLS

  1. It was pouring rain when we ventured down to Canal Street last November and other than the lack of undefinable meets hanging in storefront windows, I had flashbacks of being in Hong Kong in the early 90s with all the chaos, exotic smells and at least a bazillion hockers vying for attention, trying to sell “genuine” designer wares to over-stimulated tourists. My thought both on Canal Street and in Hong Kong was, “Why would I buy this?” only to realize when I got home I had fallen prey to the trap of buying stuff, aka junk, aka clutter, aka unnecessary crap.

  2. Well, there is a lot of garbage out there we don’t need and will never need. But as they say, one’s man’s trash, is another man’s treasure. This doesn’t apply to mimi balls though. They are a product of poor taste and sick mind. You are making a good point here about focusing on the right things, and not some trash, be it a tacky toy, or unproductive thought. Keeping focus is so important, given there are only 24 hrs a day, and only an X number of years to live.

G'head. Say it.

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